Advertisement response

The advertisement on the first page of my Sports Illustrated magazine is trying to influence the audience to buy the new Nissan Pathfinder. They pursuade the audience to believe that with 5,000 lbs of towing the Pathfinder provides, the SUV can tow a heavy load. In the advertisement, the Pathfinder towed a portable tailgating grill, to provide the perfect set up for fans before the University of Michigan football game. It is trying to show football fans that the car is essential for any tailgating experience.

Short Story

Mike Henning was a normal kid growing up in a middle class family, in New York City. He was raised by two uptight parents, who were constantly on top of everything that Mike did. Since he was a kid, his parents hovered over him watching his every move, guiding him in the predetermined path that they chose for him. From a young age they stressed that Mike play an instrument  and they told him to play the violin. To Mike's luck, he was born with talent, that surpassed anyone else his age. Mike had no choice or say in if he even wanted to play the instrument, but since he was brought up with playing the violin, forced by his parents, he did not know better that he has free will. As he grew into his collegiate years, his musical talent landed him in the state of the art music school in time square New York City. There he was with other students who had the same talent he did, playing different instruments. Mike realized as a kid he had no choice but to be on this path of music, and  started to question whether he really belonged in this school. Sure he loved music, and was grateful that he had such a talent, but he always felt like he could use these talents in a different way. Being brought up on listening to classical music, consisting of orchestras, jazz bands, you name it, he never was shown alternative types of music like hip hop, rap, and electronic. Now on his own in the streets of New York, he had an opportunity to explore other types of music. During nights, he visited the the clubs, where crowds of people dressed in a ll sorts of neon colors, jumped around going crazy to the music being played in the background.  It rang loud noises, with different beats playing at the same time, simultaneously bringing a rhythmic harmony together as a whole. It was catchy to Mike, as he started dancing silly with everyone else in the club. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins,  as the crowd jumped up and down enjoying this music to the fullest.  It was the first time he had ever heard this kind of music and  he thought it was awesome.  This music was so foreign to Mike, however, he was able to decipher the electronic notes coming from the speakers, understanding how the music producer added all the different sounds in the music to make a single track to play. After enjoying the night at the club, Mike had a discovered a new found love for music. Instead of playing the violin, Mike wanted to turn his talents into making the music he had found to be his calling. The next day, he called his parents telling them about this new found passion of music he has fallen for. He thought they would be ecstatic to hear such exciting news. Contrary to his perspective, his parents were outraged. They told him they did not send him to school to learn some garbage music, instead to be educated in the beautiful, normal music of the violin. Mike was so upset. He could not believe  his parents were ashamed of him for loving this type of music.

Mike Henning was a normal kid growing up in a middle class family, in  the suburbs of New York . He was raised by two uptight parents, who were constantly on top of everything that Mike did. Since he was a kid, his parents hovered over him watching his every move, guiding him in the predetermined path that they chose for him. From a young age they stressed that Mike play an instrument,  as he was  forced to play the violin. To Mike's luck, he was born with musical talent that surpassed anyone else his age. Mike had no choice or say as to  if he even wanted to play the instrument, but since he was brought up with playing the violin, forced by his parents, he thought that every kids' parent forced them to do certain things. He did not know better.  As he grew into his collegiate years, after doing tons of recitals, shows, and concerts, his musical talent landed him in the state of the art music school, Juliard, in New York City.  There, he was surround by other students who had the same musical talent he did, each playing different instruments. Looking around this school, he saw many kids holding different types of instruments that he had never seen before. He saw how there are so many instruments that a musician can learn to play.  Mike realized as a kid he had no choice but to be on this path of music, and  started to question whether he really belonged in this school for being a violinist. Sure he loved music, and was grateful that he had such a talent, but he always felt like he could use these talents in a different way. Being brought up on listening to classical music, consisting of orchestras, jazz bands, you name it, he never was shown alternative types of music like hip hop, rap, and electronic. Now on his own in the streets of New York, he had an opportunity to explore other cultures and different types of music. He was always attached to classical music, so in his free time he visited jazz clubs, and orchestra recitals. After a few weeks of visiting the same clubs, he started to get bored with listening to the same music over and over! He wanted to finally explore the diverse city of New York.  One night, he visited the the clubs, where crowds of people dressed in a ll sorts of neon colors, jumped around going crazy to the music being played in the background.  It rang loud noises, with different beats playing at the same time, simultaneously bringing a rhythmic harmony together as a whole. It was catchy to Mike, as he started dancing silly with everyone else in the club. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins,  as the crowd jumped up and down enjoying this music to the fullest.  It was the first time he had ever heard this kind of music and  he thought it was awesome.  This music was so foreign to Mike, however, he was able to decipher the electronic notes coming from the speakers, understanding how the music producer added all the different sounds in the music to make a single track to play. After enjoying the night at the club, Mike had a discovered a new found love for music. Instead of playing the violin, Mike wanted to turn his talents into making the music he had found to be his calling. The next day, he called his parents telling them about this new found passion of music he has fallen for. He thought they would be ecstatic to hear such exciting news. Contrary to his perspective, his parents were outraged. They told him they did not send him to school to learn some garbage music, instead to be educated in the beautiful, normal music of the violin. Mike was so upset. He could not believe  his parents were ashamed of him for loving this type of music.

Peer Review

My peer review went very well on friday. I got the information I needed to help better my essay. I was unsure as to how I could beef up my essay to meet the requirements for it being 7 pages, and got the constructive criticism to get to the main idea of the essay. I was confident in my sentence structure, but I needed to change the main concept of the essay. Overall the peer review was a great success.

The Ugly Sorority Sister, Cinderella Story

There once was an ugly college girl named Brittany Ambers who joined the only sorority that would actually let her in. She is so ugly that when the Sority had a date function with a fraternity she had to be locked up in the basement, so she could not go. As she criedin the basement, so upset about not being able to go to the date function, her Magic fairy Suga Moma from Fresh Foods gives her a magical flask, that gives Brittany the confidence she needs to make her feel beautiful. Suga Moma then breaks open the basement door, letting Brittany go to the Pike date function!. At the party, Brittany meets the President of Pike-Powerhouse Mike. At the end of the night she, lost her dignity at the party. The president of the frat announces to all of the sisters in her sorority that one sister left her dignity behind last night, but he can't seem to remember who it was, since it was a rough night. So he goes to the sorority house to see who has the most writing on their bodies, from being too passed out from the night before. As the tale goes, Brittany Ambers had the most rocket ships on her the next morning, proving to the President of Pike that it was in fact her who lost her dignity. He takes Brittany by the hand, as he knew she was the one for him.

Response to Feedback paper 2

I agree that in the first two pages I have to switch up some of my sentence structure, to make the essay flow, and come out clearer. I assume I could also add more details on the picture to give more reasons to believe the final assumptions that I made in the  conclusion. I also should add a paragraph that describes the picture without the headline involved. With all these things added I think I could beef up my essay as a whole, making it much more full and interesting to read.

Peer Review Paper 2

I will analyze a picture of Ray Lewis, the greatest linebacker in NFL history, giving a pre-game speach to his team before one of the biggest playoff games of his career. I will approach it by first giving a short synopsis on his life, then talk about the qualities that come from Ray Lewis in the picture. The picture shows many attributes that come from the passion that Ray Lewis bring in the picture. I chose it because I love the game of football, and Ray Lewis is an inspiration to me. My peer asked me how I approached Ray Lewis as my inspiration. While I asked him if he was interested in Rosie the Riveter, the iconic picture in World War II.