This is a photo of a father and his two sons, sitting on the couch. Let me rephrase that, two of them are sitting on the couch, while the other proudly stands on the platform of his fathers face. The son that is standing on his father's face draws my attention to the picture making me laugh and feel as if the child the goofy one in the family. The story that comes out of the picture, is a small memory of some sort, that describes the time when his dad was sleeping, and he stood on his face. As a kid growing up, I always looked up to my dad as a person to be playful with, so when I see a picture like this, I put myself in the position of the kid who also likes to have fun with his dad. It brings back memories of happiness, and joy that I used to have with my parents when I was a young child.

9/24/12 reflection blog

While blogging during class, I paid close attention to the material that was being covered in class, while simultaneously listening to my classmates opinions on what makes a good introduction and conclusion paragraph. I thought Ms. Lang explained the concept of how to write a good intros and conclusions in a clear manner that helped everyone in the class benefit in writing their own essays. I chose to add a few links that would give other classmates a chance to study the concepts we already discussed in class, and give them a head start on starting to form their own introduction and conclusions. After being the class blogger for today, I realized that we cover a vast amount of information in the mere 50 minutes we have each day. It is amazing even with so much information that we cover each day in class, the concepts that we learn are taught clearly enough for me to grasp them as I leave the classroom each day.

Class Blog 9/24/12 Jake Najjar

Ms. Lang, introducing the concept of how
to write a good introduction

September 24, 2012 

Our class started off with Ms. Lang making sure all the students were fully prepared to turn in their final draft due on Friday. After this announcement, the class  changed the focus from talking about final drafts, to a class discussion on how to make a good introduction and conclusion paragraph.

Sam Lemelman, a hardworking student,
is trying to understand how to write
the perfect conclusion paragraph.

Ms. Lang talked about the main purpose of introduction paragraphs, and what to avoid when writing them.  She gave the students different strategies to write the perfect introduction: She told us to tell a story, give a quote, state a hypothesis, and many other creative ways of starting an essay.  Ms. Lang referred to the essay "Music Television Mike". The class described the essay's qualities that bring the reader's interest into the story,by using a distinct voice, humor, certain quotes, storytelling, while also posing a question to start the intro. However, there were also parts of the introduction that were offensive, and somewhat of a turn off to some readers. Along with introductions, we also talked about conclusions.

The traits for making a great intro/conclusion

The conclusion topic stressed that the concluding paragraph needs to make a final impression on the reader, and motivate the reader to think further. Conclusions should avoid restating the introduction, and repeating main ideas. Ms. Lang also added a few tips to refer to while writing a conclusion like: answering a question posed, summarizing the main point, and putting in a call to action. After looking at some pointers to write the perfect conclusion, we looked back at "Music Television Mike"'s concluding paragraph. This paragraph had a recap of its main points, the author's position shifted, and a powerful concluding sentence that ties the entire essay together.

For more tips on how to write good introductions and conclusions look at the following websites:

• http://homeworktips.about.com/od/paperassignments/a/introsentence.htm
• http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/conclude.html

Introductions and Conclusions

 I proposed a question to myself and to the readers in my introduction on why we are so glued to the internet, and the use of cell phones. I proposed the non-conforming idea that people should stay away from the internet rather than use it like everyone else in society.  In my conclusion I call for an action to the readers. I told them to stay away from using too much online social media, or else people will lose touch to what it is to have a true relationship. This will excite many of my readers to understand my point, and hopefully influence this idea upon their lifestyle's. This idea alone answers the question "so what". It is an abstract idea that most people would not buy into, and by me stating reasons for my conclusion, it will hopefully influence the readers to follow my theory to stay away from the internet.

peer review

I thought my peer review was very helpful in making my essay clear and fluent. I definitely needed an outside perspective on my essay to see certain flaws in my writing that I wouldn't have seen before. With the help of my peer editor I got constructive criticism that hopefully helped my essay prosper and become a successful piece of writing. The only aspect I did not like about the process, was the lack of time to talk about each other's essays. Overall, it was a successful process that I recommend to do each time I write an essay.  

Essay Changes

The main concept I have to change about my essay, is relating some parts of the draft to myself rather than the world around me. I use many of my observations to describe  how social media websites affect others socially, instead of using my personal situations where it has affected me. I also have do go into more detail on specific topics I include in my essay, with  more personalized detail.

My workshop was a definite help in revising my essay, and making sure I stayed on point with the message I was trying to get across. In my shitty draft, I provided allot about the different time periods social interactions and how it has changed through social media, but I forgot to mention my own perception of how I interacted.  Through the workshop, my two peers helped me add in my own input on my essay, giving it a clear main idea. After going to through the workshop, my essay is definitely enhanced and ready to start being written.